This is one of several stories of a healing journey that I am currently outpouring via spontaneous poeming. I don’t know how I am able to do this yet…I have kept a lot quiet perhaps and want to show evidence….and what happens when you thought by thought refute that you’re ever alone and strive through leaning on divine Love to prove the powerlessness and unreality of all limits that are so mortal….and everything about my convictions I owe to the ideas of a great book Science and Health…and these days I help folks bulldoze fear and overcome their own right now limits. While I hope these poems assemble one day as a book, I’ve never been really good at striving for a definitive outcome….for there is always the right now and all you’re able to manage…and so as the poems come i am finally trusting it’s okay to share them…What you must know is that its very hard…to relive or retell stories from what seems a life ago by far….yet…I’m so committed to helping any girl or boy feel her or his worth and understand that she or he is never ever alone and so deeply loved no matter what has happened. Thank you ever so much for being here and reading…and if you wish to share this journey more completely please feel welcome to subscribe here or follow sharingherstory.wordpress.com. Much love to you, Tre ~It was 1996… and the bar opened a lunch service… I’d already been working double shifts …at a new joint off an Austin famous street called 6th… the only server who didn’t drink, I could hold /serve about 12 pints without a blink… and it was a brewery that was new and the owner thought they were everyone’s “dude.”
There was a party one night thrown by an owner after our shifts.. We were to go and do whatever they all did… I showed up thinking it was expected of me… but the other servers hit me with “it’s your turn… he’s already had his way with we”. …I was panicked and it was before mobiles but I had a beeper and paged a friend.
I faked being sick and left that scene… and walked a few hours on my own that midnight eve.
And while walking I knew I was giving up the job… the next day at 4pm confirmed my lot.
If you didn’t perform you weren’t let on… yet I was very ready to sing a new song.
Sometimes we do the work we must to pay the bills and heal broken hearts.
I’ll never regret leaving that scene and it was probably favorite of a few of my firings.
Never believe for a second any let go is an end.
You’re being lifted up into where you can better bless, I promise you friend.
When they say “we need to let you go” divine Love is saying “I am promoting your growth”
…Being fired is hard for us all… but it’s really an avenue opening up for us to walk…. each seeming “end” is always an opening…I promise you friend.
“Innocence and truth overcome guilt and error.” ~ Mary Baker Eddy
Two things I would like to emphasize…
1) I took the job intentionally to stay active and so instant busy…
I had been told several months earlier “we are gonna be just friends “ by someone I loved deeply and it hurt so much, the best I could do was run away several states away to a town where I knew no one …
i found the job and a sublet same day and I worked double shifts because I thought I would not think— >
I was wrong.
We are always thinking.
Yet I knew how to manage moments and shift what I was thinking from dwelling on all day/ night “he dumped me” to all night “I am worthy”…
and whether wiping down tables full of spilled beer, or cleaning bathroom stalls which is hard because you slip and it’s just weird,
or serving dozens of pints and hearing the comments, I was —in my thinking —reclaiming my worth and my true identity…
2. There was zero headsup of what I would face at the party… and this was long before apps with Lyft or Uber.
But I didn’t feel alone as I left that night.
I was praying. And I knew my morales wouldn’t ever have to be comprised if the job was right. Period. I walked what seems all night.
But that was a pivotal moment for me… one of leaning on convictins utterly and completely…(what would be several hundreds more occasions of learning we are never alone and always at-one…)
My heart to yours, Tre ~
#myheart2yours #spontaneous_poeming #perspective #jobsecurity #work #safety #growth #austin #6thstreet